Valentine's Day Date while 34 weeks Pregnant

 Today is Sunday February 16th.  My husband and I went on a lunch date to celebrate Valentine's Day.  As 2 working parents, dates are very rare for us.  While we love to spend time together, at the end of the day, we are literally just happy to be be home with our kids.

While getting ready, I asked my husband if he had any requests on what I should wear.  He told me to be comfortable.  (I didn't expect any other answer, I was just curious)

If I am getting ready to go on a date, I want to look and feel sexy -  confident and comfortable in whatever I choose.  I want him to be attracted to me.  I want him to desire me.  We've been married for almost 15 years and I want him to want me.  But at 34 weeks pregnant, weighing in at the most I've ever been, sexy and attractive is not how I would describe myself.  While other women feel great in pregnancy, I just don't.

I hate the extra weight gain.

I do not like how puffy my face looks.

I miss wearing clothes with zippers and belts.

I need to dye my hair and fix the coloring.

Yes, I'm grateful for this baby.  I love our unborn child and am happy for this beautiful gift from God.

However, getting ready for a date while being 34 weeks pregnant is just hard!

After much debate, I decided on a comfortable pair of jeans, a top that showed off a little cleavage and a pair of white sneakers.  The final look:

Is this my absolute favorite Valentine's Day look ever?  Nope.  Did he and I have a great time while out?  Yes, absolutely.  It was a fabulous date.  Is this our last date before the baby?  Yup!   Am I looking forward to the day when I feel myself again?  HECK YES! 

Is this just a season?  Absolutely.

It's just so easy to get caught up in the IG/Facebook world of perfection.  I need to remind myself that these feelings are just temporary.  It's more important for me to embrace what God has put before me and walk in his love and grace.  My absolute favorite Bible verse of all times is:

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

Ecclesiastes 3:1

The time for pregnancy is now.  And next Valentine's Day, I will be in another season.  Until then, I'll just try to embrace every moment.  :)

3 Day Weekend?

Today is Monday, Martin Luther King Day.  My office of employment is closed, so I am enjoying a quiet day at home with my 2 kids while my husband is at work.  We slept in, ate fruit salad for breakfast; I worked on some things in the house, and the girls made a fort with all of my couch cushions, part of my kitchen table and multiple blankets.   I've baked a breakfast snack for the week, helped the girls make chocolate pudding, done laundry, etc.  It's been fabulous day.

While I was scrolling IG during lunch, I saw this video of a working Mom complain about the 3 day weekend.  She said that it was so much work.  The kids were out of their routine, and the weekend was just so hard. She does not like 3 day weekends. She mentioned that her opinion was not a popular one.

I watched the video, and my heart broke for her.  Not out of pity but realizing that a part of her was not enjoying motherhood.  She was in the hard.  Dealing with the difficulties and struggling to embrace the good.

I am not judging her.  Truly, I am not.  While I appreciate the brutal honesty, I can't help but ponder how perspective is everything.

Let's be honest - today has been lovely but it's more work to be home with my kids than at my normal job.  I've run the dishwasher twice - normally it's just one.  But I look at my messy house, and I feel a sense of gratefulness.  

I am grateful that my office is closed.

I am grateful that my girls play so well together.

I am grateful that I got some chores done around the house.

I am grateful for a day where I didn't go anywhere.

I am grateful for the time with my family.

As a working mom, I don't get a lot of 'free' weekdays with my kids.  This time together is special and wonderful.  My perspective is positive.

I've wanted to be a mom my entire life.   While I miss aspects of my life before kids, nothing compares to the gift that I have now.

I hope and pray that the Mother (in the video) finds joy in the journey.  As for me, I'm going to choose to embrace the hard, the good, and everything in between.   

To quote Ecclesiastes 3:1: There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.

This season in motherhood is a wave.  It will pass and another way will come.  For now, just enjoy the wave, pray and do your best.  And most of all rely on the Savior that knows all.

Birth Rates Are Going Down

Today, I read an article about how birth rates are going down.  People are not having kids. It's all over the world.  If you think about world history, the trend is astonishing.  My husband and I chatted about it.  He asked if I was surprised, and I said no.

2 women at work.  Their kids are grown.  Both have told me that all the grown children do not what their own kids.  The women have accepted it but are definitely a little sad about the realization.

Another women at work.  2 of her grown children got married last year.  Her statement: "I hope they have kids."

I can see the decreased birth rate.

There’s a guy engaged, in his twenties, getting married this Spring.  An older co-worker (with grown kids) asked him if he (the young guy) wanted kids.  His response was so telling: “I don’t know.  Like, I hear you guys say that it’s great but then I hear you complain about how hard and expensive it is.  I just don’t know if I want it.”  (BTW, this is his same answer that he’s given before.)

Another guy, newly wed, in his early thirties, the same answer.

I've gotten mixed reactions over having another child.  To anyone looking in, my life with 2 was finally getting easier.  My preschooler will go to kindergarten in the Fall.  My older daughter is very independent.  When I told some friends that I was pregnant again, they gave me a weird look.  Another asked why would I want to go through with this all over again.  One asked if the baby was an accident.  

While some are happy for me, others see the stress.  The hard.  The money.  The sacrifices.

This pregnancy has been plagued with negativity from doctors at the OBGYN.  I've gotten pushback, weird comments, and have just had odd moments.  At one point, I defended my pro life stance.  It's spiritual warfare on a different level.  Satan doesn't like children.  It's clear to see.

I feel the stress of having another child.  Trying to find childcare, wondering I should be a stay at home, contemplating what new scarifies have to be made.  While I keep this to myself and don't broadcast it at work, in my weakness, I wonder, how is this all going to work?

But then I remember Christ.  He gave me this child.  He planned all of my kids.  While I have 3 (one in my belly) on earth and 1 in heaven, He knows how this is going to turn out.   Christ gave me this gift so I just need to pray, ask for wisdom, and receive Godly counsel.  Do my best.  Work with my husband on tangible solutions, and move forward.

I'm not going to solve the birth rate issue.  My 3 kids are not a dent in the statistic.  What I can do is praise my Creator for this gift, speak positively about the blessing of my girls, and be the best Christian that I can be.  I need to do my part and let Christ do the rest.

The schedule of Preparedness

While in the grocery store today, my daughter commented that Valentine’s day candy was already available to purchase.  I nodded in agreement and told her that we should go shopping for Valentine’s day cards/treats for her class soon.  My husband rolled his eyes, but I assured him that I always purchase this type of stuff early.  That way I get the best selection.  He shrugged because he didn’t understand.  That’s okay because this is my specialty but it caused me to pause, and contemplate – what is my yearly schedule of preparation for various holidays?  I came up with the list below:

When to Shop/Make Decisions for Kids - The Holiday Edition (AKA: Jen's List)

January – Valentine’s day treats

End of January/February -Anything needed for St. Patrick’s day (IE, do your kids have a cute green shirt to wear on St. Patrick's day or do you need any chocolate gold coins?)

February – Easter Dresses/Easter candy/anything needed for Easter (including cute plates, napkins,etc)

March – Start review of Summer camp options, possibly book/start reviewing options for family vacation

April – Book summer vacation/purchase new swimsuits for the kids

May/Early June - Purchase anything needed for July 4th

End of July – Start back to school shopping

September – Buy Halloween costume/treats for class

October – Purchase Thanksgiving outfits/cutlery/anything need for Thanksgiving

November – Purchase Christmas plates, napkins/order teacher gifts/finalize kids' wish lists

Does this align with your mental schedule of keeping track of the holidays?  Do you have a better list?  Share your ideas below.  I'd love to know how you manage it all.

Normal?

Growing up in a charismatic church, I heard about spiritual warfare quite a bit.  As an adult, I've attended multiple different non-denominational churches.  Spiritual warfare is not a popular topic.  In fact, I rarely hear about it.

But as a Christian, I'm called to be hyper aware of this topic.  And, I need to be able to recognize it - even when it seems a little normal.

Last week, as I was getting ready for church, I experienced pretty bad morning sickness.  I vomited a couple of times and just felt awful.  As someone who's in their 2nd trimester, morning sickness is very normal for me.  (As I'm writing this now, I feel nauseous.)  

I took care of myself and continued to get ready for church.  I didnt feel better as we drove but again, morning sickness is normal for me.  I still have to go to work, make dinner, take care of my family.  Life doesnt stop for a rough pregnancy.

I arrived to church, vomitted again in the bathroom, and got myself together.  As I walked towards the sanctuary, my first thought was just to sit down and take it easy.  Rest during praise and worship.  Just don't say anything, relax and I'll feel better again soon.

And that's when it hit me, this rough morning was an attack from the enemy.  He didnt want me to worship God or even attend church for that matter.  He wanted me to withdraw from God.  Using morning sickness was just an easy 'normal' excuse.

But guess what, I cant let the enemy win.  Just because something seems normal doesn't mean that it's not spiritual warfare.  As a Christian, I need to be aware of this, capture the evil thoughts, and turn my direction to Christ.

1 Peter 5:8-9 says:

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

Anyway, back to my story.  I walked into the sanctuary, found my husband, placed my purse on my chair and jumped into worship with praise and thanksgiving.  The morning sickness went away, and I enjoyed the service.

This is just a friendly reminder, even if something seems 'normal', check yourself.  Is this spiritual warfare?  Is there an area in your life that you need God to help you?  Be aware and most of all, pray.

He Isn't the Savior

The election ended a week ago.  Like any conservative Christian, I've been very excited and hopeful.  Thinking at times, 'well when Trump is in charge, this is going to improve.'  'Wow, I can't wait until Trump changes this.'  It's come to mind more times than I can count.

I'm pregnant and have 2 little kids.  The world around me can seem a little scary sometimes.  I am so excited to see that President Trump was elected again.  He was a fantastic president, and I have high hopes that he is going to do an even better job this time.

But here's the thing - Donald Trump isn't the Savior.  He's an imperfect man.  Jesus Christ came to save.  When I get excited and think about how much good Trump is going to do, I have to redirect my eyes to Christ.

There's nothing wrong in getting excited.  President Trump is a great leader.  It's okay to be hopeful of the future.  However, Trump isn't Christ.  Only through Jesus Christ, he will be able to do great things.  I need to pray for President Trump every day.  In fact, I should be praying for my leaders every single day.

Daniel 2:21

"He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding".

Am I super excited for the next 4 years under President Trump?  Yes, absolutely!  But, I'll be praying for him and everyone in leadership as well.  ;)

Praying for your husband

My husband and I were chatting one night.  He said to me: “Man, I hope you are praying for me because I am so stressed out.”  I agreed (like any wife) but the next morning as I was driving to work, it hit me.  Do I really think about praying for him?  Like, how often does it come to mind?  Is this something that I’m actually doing?

I’m not going to lie.  I don’t pray for him often.  It’s not an intentional choice.   It’s not a conscientious choice to refuse to pray for him. I do pray.  I pray for my kids, health, safety, my parents etc.  But the love of my life?   Not really. 

I definitely prayed more him at the beginning of the relationship.  During that super lovey, kissy phase.  But let’s me honest, we’ve been married for 14 years.  He and I are fiercely independent people.  While our lives are great and marriage is strong, praying for him has definitely not been in the forefront of my prayer life. 

I felt convicted about this.    I should be praying for him as often as I pray for my kids.  This should be a package deal.    I care and love him so much.  Why aren’t I praying for him?

Matthew 11:28-30 says: 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I want my husband to feel that verse.  I want him to find rest in Christ.  As his wife, I should be praying that over him all the time.

Since that conversation, I've prayed for him a lot more.  I'm trying to incorporate it in my drive to work and at night.  It's a choice that I need to make every day.  And, I'm happy to do so.

So, do you pray for your husband?  Is this something that you are super good at?  Am I only one struggling?  😊